Duh! Are We Stupid?

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If you have read Duh! Magazine’s hard-back book, the Duh! Anthology, then you know all of us here enjoy the occasional roadside pop-up octopus ceviche stand as much as the next person. However sometimes, we really just need to stop, sit-down, and make time for a full meal together. Today is one of those days.

Let’s dig in…

☰ Word of caution: Duh! Magazine writers have begun using "dictation" this week, and it's still a little rough around the edges. The Editorial Board has done there best to screen for mistakes, but undoubtedly a few remain!

We’ve been inundated lately with questions from conservatives and progressives both, some say hundreds of thousands of calls and letters which all amount to the same basic question.

The Snowflakes are asking: Duh!, are Fondled Lump’s remaining followers literally as stupid as they seem to be, or is there something else going on?

"Duh! MAGA! Y do lib carbs and snow-snakes, all-ways hack like weird doll dumb or stupid?? —Sighed, the President Fondled Lump's most-medicated and loyal holler-ers "

Wait, what?!

That’s when I realized, I really should have invested in the fancier speech-to-text system. But fortunately, rather than try to interpret, we instead called on Duh! Magazine’s “Voicemail Speech-to-Text Translation Support Department”, asking their Assistant to the Manager (intern), to create a cross-functional, hyper dynamic project with this Mission Statement: “Ask one of their two system experts to decipher the whole mess!”.

We soon learned that practically every one of them were asking the same essential question of Duh! Magazine, which is:

Q: Why do so many Liberals and Progressives treat Trump Supporters like they are stupid?!” —Signed, Your Typical Trump Supporter

All of us here at Duh! Magazine recognized this as a right-brain question, and being so oft-repeated, it clearly deserved a serious answer.

So, after working straight through our 3-hour lunch break every day this week, we have interviewed countless progressives and summarized their answers into this explanation below.


A: Here’s a synopsis of what the vast majority of progressives we interviewed answered your question:

In summary, this is what many if not most Progressives have to say about the intelligence (or rather, lack thereof) of a typical Trump Supporter:

That when you saw a man who had owned a fraudulent University, intent on scamming poor people, you thought “Fine.”

That when you saw a man who had made it his business practice to stiff his creditors, you said, “Okay.”

That when you heard him proudly brag about his own history of sexual abuse, you said, “No problem.”

That when he made up stories about seeing Muslim-Americans in the thousands cheering the destruction of the World Trade Center, you said, “Not an issue.”

That when you saw him brag that he could shoot a man on Fifth Avenue and you wouldn’t care, you seemed to say, “Gosh, Mr. Trump really understands me!”

That when you heard him relating a story of an elderly guest of his country club, an 80-year old man, who fell off a stage and hit his head, to Trump replied: “‘Oh my God, that’s disgusting,’ and I turned away. I couldn’t—you know, he was right in front of me, and I turned away. I didn’t want to touch him. He was bleeding all over the place. And I felt terrible, because it was a beautiful white marble floor, and now it had changed color. Became very red.” All you did was laugh along with him.

That when you saw him mock the disabled, you thought it was the funny, and said “Well, I know he’s no Mr. Nice Guy, But that’s why I voted for him!”

That when you heard him brag that he doesn’t read books, you weren’t the slightest bit concerned, “Well, who has time to read and learn new things anyway!?”

That when the Central Park Five were compensated as innocent men convicted of a crime they didn’t commit, and he angrily said that they should still be in prison, you said, “That’s right, he’s my guy!”

That when you heard him tell his supporters to beat up protesters and not to worry because he would hire and pay for their attorneys, you thought, “Yes! Man Trump is so tough and cool!”

That when you heard him tell security at a rally to confiscate a man’s coat before throwing him out into the freezing cold, you said, “This is a man who will make America Great!”

That you have watched the parade of neo-Nazis and white supremacists with whom he curries favor, as he failed to condemn outright all Nazis, and you have said, “Double thumbs up!”

That you hear him unable to talk to foreign dignitaries without managing to insult their countries and then demanding that they praise his electoral win, you said, “That’s my awesome President, easily the world’s most high-profile and consistent dickhead!”

That you have watched him remove expertise from all layers of government in nearly every department, ousting life-long civil servants and proven leaders with long track records of success, just to swap them out with people who make money off of eliminating protections in the industries they’re supposed to be regulating, even countless billionaires who are clearly in it just to make money and pave the way for their business interests and you think, “What a genius!”

That you have heard him continue to profit in many ways from his businesses, often by leveraging his position as President, even to the point of overtly overcharging the Secret Service for space and rooms to stay in the properties he owns, and you have said, “That’s just what I’d do, he’s so smart!”

That you have heard him say that it was difficult to help Puerto Rico because it was in the “middle of water” and you have said, “That makes so much sense.”

That you have seen him start fights with every country from Canada to New Zealand while always praising Russia and quote, “falling in love” with the dictator of North Korea, and you have said, “That’s statesmanship!”

That you watched Trump separate children from their families and put them in cages, even managing to lose track of 1500+ kids and, then open a tent city incarceration camp in the desert in Texas - with the excuse: “that they’re just animals” - and you say, “Well, that’s OK with me, seems like the thing to do.”

Only those among you bring guns to protests “to make sure they don’t get violent” and fail to see the irony. Only those among you will still to this day chant like some cult member “Lock Her Up!”, even though she has never been convicted of a single case of wrong-doing, yet Trump’s people are falling like flies with one crime and conviction after the other but all you can do is defend him when he pardons them or excuses their crimes by getting Barr to drop the charges!

You’ve seen the nation’s psychologists and psychiatrists nearly every single one agree that he’s a malignant narcissist yet you refuse to even entertain a conversation about how concerning that should be to all of us.

You’ve witnessed mass shootings and the death of American children and countless adults as Trump does =NOTHING= to protect you or your children, but you can’t manage to comment on that.

You have witnessed, just like the rest of us, hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of a variety of other manifestations of corruption, shamelessly low moral character and outright animalistic rudeness and contempt for =YOU=, the working American voter, and yet you still show up grinning never willing to admit there’s a thing to seriously criticize him for —refusing to be honest about what he had said and done day after day after day, wearing your ridiculous “MAGA” hats and threatening to beat up anybody who says otherwise only to turn around and have a fit about your 1st Amendment Rights.

We see a man who dodged the military but doesn’t hesitate a second to make up juvenile names and insult those who have, even suggesting a POW is not big deal because “He likes the guys who don’t get caught!” (ahem!!). Insulting gold-star families, accepting the gift of a purple heart from some misguided elderly man who, like you, can’t get enough of this stuff, taking it and keeping it as if he deserved one from “campaigning so hard”.

This could go on for countless pages with one example after the other, but the only thing a Trump Supporter will do with it is say “Well, Obama spied on Trump we think!” as if that pretty much equals it all out. It’s a JOKE, and the truth is we are GENEROUS AS HELL for not laughing you out of the room every time you try to defend him. The level of PITY the rest of us hold for you is only exceeded by the degree of how repugnant and revolting it is to see our fellow Americans cheering on a President who has lied to us > 18,000 times, and who leads us to 1/3 of the global deaths from Covid-19 (33%+) despite having just 5% of the world’s population, and even then our deaths are wildly under reported.

This could cite the BBC, Scientific American, The Atlantic, The Chicago Tribune, NBC, ABC, CBS, CNN, The New York Times, The Guardian, on and on and on – if the source doesn’t agree with what Trump tells you to believe, you can’t wait to yellow “Fake News” and leave it at that, eagerly burying your head in the sand in an instant, just because Trump gave you the command. You pride yourself on being “independent” but every political thought and notion you have is but a reflection of what Trump has said and done. Friends, family and acquaintances in many cases don’t even recognize you anymore, you’ve changed that much, becoming more bitter, closed-minded, angry, insolent, refusing to hear the truth, rejecting the facts… that is what we all see.

What you don’t get, Trump ~supporters~Enablers, is that when we shake our heads and cut the conversation short, we ARE OFTEN thinking of you as stupid, and while that may be wrong and unfair, you need to understand that then the only other things that can explain who and how you are as a human-being are factors far more damning and frankly, even more convincing. When we call you stupid, we’re giving you an enormous benefit of the doubt, that you aren’t truly the awful childish low-life who can’t hold a logical argument for more than 30 seconds because some lie, prejudice, fiction, or uncontrollable emotion gets in you way. With any luck, one day you will find yourself infinitely grateful that you weren’t ejected permanently from the lives of many of those around you, who still, against all likelihood and reason, love you, because that’s precisely what you deserve by holding on to all of the sickness, ugliness and lies spewing from the mouth of your horrific, narcissistic, whiny and WEAK little president.

So, to make this really simple: If you’re NOT stupid, we must turn to other explanations, and most of them are less flattering.

(I added many of my own words and links to this, building on an original I received from a friend, If you agree, feel free to SHARE; )