"Death to America" Is Not On Your "News" - It Is Your "News" Curtis Kekoa III Tuesday, September 28, 2004 Okay...Tonight, I want you to watch your local news entertainment television. Take note that of the half-hour, approximately 7 minutes will be devoted to weather and another 5 will be devoted to sports, unless it's Sunday when entertainment news has an additional 30 minutes of "Sports-freakin-extra." This will leave you about 12 minutes of actual entertainment since another 6 minutes will be for your local Ford and GMC dealer - you know, those commercials that have the tough-guy, bad-to-the-bone music with  trucks racin' through mud. Cause we all know tough guys race trucks through mud. Anyway, the 12 minutes which remain will be filled with: 1) An earthquake in California; 2) A hurricane in Florida; 3) A double murder; 4) Saving a horny toad from extinction; 6) A man and his lightning; and 5) your choice between Kobe, Michael Jackson, or Scott Peterson. If the station is really savvy, then you'll get all three - Kobe, Michael and Scott. (These are all real headlines from today's entertainment news.) And, of course, it wouldn't be news if we didn't get something about Hispanic Heritage Month. (There are only 12 months in a year, and I'm still waiting for white man month.) Pretty provocative, huh? Sometimes, though, the stories are just too provocative for some, so you might check out some online entertainment news. When you do, only two things will change: 1) you will get Kobe, Michael and Scott all at the same time, for sure; and 2) every article will be accompanied with some advert about a homosexual who was fired for being a homosexual. Now you're ready to go to bed, the mind filled with pointless crap about murders, hurricanes and school bake-sales when, all of the sudden, you remember this website: www.MEMRI.org. I came across this website one evening while trying to email the local news station about how obtuse their "news" was (and still is). The Middle East Media Research Institute is filled with stuff that the ol' Tom, Dick and Harry anchor-schmucks won't dare to show you at 10 o'clock, but that doesn't seem to stop the middle-east media from showing it round the clock to the mighty, bomb-strapped warriors of Allah. My particular fave, so far, is under the video section called "Sermons From Iraq." In it a cleric, a nebbish, jumps up and down in his mosque (no women present, by the way) with a sword in his hand while screaming something like "death to America." This show by the peace-loving cleric of Allah really stirs up the crowd of men, in a mosque no less. If you really want something different, check out the section called "The Muslim Woman Magazine" where you'll find a 3 year-old girl call Jews "apes and pigs," which is why she doesn't like Jews - something really warm and nice and what you'd expect from a 3 year-old girl. This show is really dedicated to grooming the youngins' "so that the next generation will turn out to be true Muslims who understand that they are Muslims and know who their enemies are."  Perfect for a woman's magazine. Or if this (or the "News") doesn't pique your interest, you can watch reruns of the Simpsons, The King of Queens and Friends and be a real winner. Heck, you might even get some highlights from all the football you missed which will really change your life.  It might even kill you with ignorance, eventually.  Hence, "Death to America."
	COPYRIGHT "DUHMAG.COM" 2004